Canine communication - practical
0 Comments Published by Gussie on Friday, October 31, 2008 at 10/31/2008 11:55:00 AM.
What is Jake trying to tell us?
And without reference to Turid Rugaas, I deduce:
Get on with it! It's perishing up here! My ears are blowing off! etc etc
(Taken on Blackford Hill, view over Edinburgh towards Arthur's Seat).
And without reference to Turid Rugaas, I deduce:
Get on with it! It's perishing up here! My ears are blowing off! etc etc
(Taken on Blackford Hill, view over Edinburgh towards Arthur's Seat).
The Corgi Lounge put their blog into Wordle and it looked pretty good. I've used Wordle for work (yawn) but it's funny to see our actual real life preoccupations. Ahem.
Labels: Whimsy
Jake meets Roomba
6 Comments Published by Gussie on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at 10/15/2008 12:11:00 AM.
I first heard about the Roomba over at Dog-li-ness. I've coveted one ever since. What's not to love about a robot vaccuum cleaner?
This weekend we finally cracked and bought one. Our very own robot house elf. Fantastic.
Jake mostly ignores domestic appliances and the Roomba is no exception. He watched it with very alert ears at first but when we ignored it, so did he. He's showing no signs of stress, though as with the old vacuum cleaner he prefers to give it a wide berth. The only thing that did set him off was when it finished cleaning and docked with an electronic trill not unlike our doorbell. Jake went into full REPEL BOARDERS mode and had to be shown there was no-one at the door.
I must admit we were a bit concerned the first time we left Jake and the Roomba alone in the house together. Of course we would never leave it running with Jake unattended, even so I had visions of Jake rounding on it as it sat in its charger: "So now we are alone. Who will protect you now? Die. Die. Die." But Roomba has survived to suck up hairs as fast as Jake can shed them.
In one of those interweb synchronicity moments, today Johann posted a video of a robot dog on a seesaw. If it could only mop the floor as well ...
The need for Attack Chihuahuas in modern city living
6 Comments Published by Gussie on Thursday, September 11, 2008 at 9/11/2008 11:04:00 PM.
Image by Emmanuel, some rights reserved.
Work took me to Madrid for a few days... As usual when I travel, I studied the local dog-owning culture. There were many, many city dogs to watch. Lots of small dogs ... schnauzers, French bulldogs, English bulldogs (less exaggerated than the ones I've seen locally in the UK), miniature pinschers, lots of clipped spaniels and terriers (Madrid is a tad hotter than Edinburgh) and several of what I think are bolognese but may be the Spanish equivalent. In one small area I saw three different sorts of pet shops - one called Pet a porter (muy buen), full of little outfits & hip dog beds. One with cages of pups in the window :-( , and another with windows full pictures of dogs that need new homes (bueno!) I guess that the Spanish working day probably helps working people keep their dogs happy. Plus there are all those pavement cafes where dogs can sit under tables, waiting for snacks to fall. Lots of dogs get to trot around off-lead - "vamos, vamos," say their people, and the little legs trot to keep up. They all seem to wear two collars, and I guess one must be a dog license of some sort.
Sadly I can't share any of the pics I took of dog-life in Madrid because on my last night there my bag was nicked, so I lost my camera (among other things, including my passport). It all came right - I was with friends, the Madrid police and the British consulate were great, and I flew home on schedule with an emergency passport.
It's been pointed out to me that if I kept a chihuahua in my bag à la Paris Hilton, this would never had happened.
Dogs can't climb trees
3 Comments Published by Gussie on Friday, July 11, 2008 at 7/11/2008 02:22:00 PM.
Hello, this is Edinburgh calling.
These are the results from the Lurcher voting.
Whippets: huit points.
Salukis: dix points.
Greyhounds: douze points!!!!
[the crowd goes wild]
Jakes yawns. Gives up trying to beg humans to give up their barbeque. Retires to friends' sofa until humans stop drinking and shouting at the telly.
These are the results from the Lurcher voting.
Whippets: huit points.
Salukis: dix points.
Greyhounds: douze points!!!!
[the crowd goes wild]
Jakes yawns. Gives up trying to beg humans to give up their barbeque. Retires to friends' sofa until humans stop drinking and shouting at the telly.
As I walked to the park with Jake for some agility practise, lead in one hand and long, narrow carry cases full of poles in the other, an older chap in the John Shuttleworth tradition stopped in his tracks.
“Are you going fishing?” he asked, clearly astounded.
“Are you going fishing?” he asked, clearly astounded.
Labels: Whimsy
Gravy bones spree
4 Comments Published by Gussie on Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 4/10/2008 10:04:00 PM.
I have to admire Jake. This morning, while we were out, he finally worked out how to
a) reach up to the shelf in the utility room where his treat stash is kept
b) pull/knock down the large tub of gravy bones
c) eat 1 kilo of gravy bones.
So we came home to find a snake that had swallowed an ostrich egg, sorry, one very sleepy lurcher with a suspiciously bulging gut. Several sedate walks have followed. That kilo of gravy bones has to go somewhere.
There was no tea for Jake this evening. And he hasn't even noticed.
Oh, we do like to be beside the seaside
1 Comments Published by Gussie on Tuesday, March 25, 2008 at 3/25/2008 07:06:00 PM.
Intense efforts of concentration
2 Comments Published by Gussie on Sunday, March 02, 2008 at 3/02/2008 10:57:00 AM.
This week there’s been a lot of coverage of a sweet cavalier king charles spaniel who can balance empty yoghurt pots on all four paws while lying on her back. Jake would never achieve such stillness. But he can do intense focus. For example...
Between runs at agility class, I was chatting to border collie Harvey’s handler while we distracted our dogs by practicing various little tricks. It started to get a bit competitive. Jake’s meercat (sit up on haunches) plays Harvey’s stand on two hind legs. Jake's weave between my legs as I walk along plays Harvey’s scoot backwards through his handler’s legs. Jake’s marching plays ...
... you get the idea. Harvey and Jake both have their turns.
One trick they both do is to balance a treat on their paws and wait until told to take it. What’s interesting is their different technique. With a treat on his paws, Harvey looks up, down, left right – anywhere but at it. If I can’t see it, it’s not there. Lalalalala. Jake does the exact opposite. He stares at it fixedly and his nose sinks closer and closer. I must not let this out of my sight. It will be MINE, MINE, ALL MINE. What made me laugh was when I gave Jake’s release command Harvey took that as a green light to snaffle his treat.
Here's Jake demonstrating his advanced hypnosis of biscuits.
As I took this pic, when the shutter clicked on my cameraphone, Jake promptly snaffled the biscuit. It took us a moment to twig that the shutter makes a click, and for a clicker-trained dog, that means yay, treat!
Suddenly I realise why Jake runs up to me and starts running through his repertoire whenever he sees me with my phone. He thinks the phone's a clicker.
Between runs at agility class, I was chatting to border collie Harvey’s handler while we distracted our dogs by practicing various little tricks. It started to get a bit competitive. Jake’s meercat (sit up on haunches) plays Harvey’s stand on two hind legs. Jake's weave between my legs as I walk along plays Harvey’s scoot backwards through his handler’s legs. Jake’s marching plays ...
... you get the idea. Harvey and Jake both have their turns.
One trick they both do is to balance a treat on their paws and wait until told to take it. What’s interesting is their different technique. With a treat on his paws, Harvey looks up, down, left right – anywhere but at it. If I can’t see it, it’s not there. Lalalalala. Jake does the exact opposite. He stares at it fixedly and his nose sinks closer and closer. I must not let this out of my sight. It will be MINE, MINE, ALL MINE. What made me laugh was when I gave Jake’s release command Harvey took that as a green light to snaffle his treat.
Here's Jake demonstrating his advanced hypnosis of biscuits.
As I took this pic, when the shutter clicked on my cameraphone, Jake promptly snaffled the biscuit. It took us a moment to twig that the shutter makes a click, and for a clicker-trained dog, that means yay, treat!
Suddenly I realise why Jake runs up to me and starts running through his repertoire whenever he sees me with my phone. He thinks the phone's a clicker.
Vantage point
0 Comments Published by Gussie on Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 2/23/2008 09:23:00 PM.
I beseech you, please remove this humiliating coat
4 Comments Published by Gussie on Thursday, January 31, 2008 at 1/31/2008 11:49:00 PM.
Sorry, Jake. This is the best doggy waterproof EVER. Unlike all the ones which fasten underneath, this stays on. Check out the cunning design with velcro along his spine. Plus it is suitably cut for raising legs against lamp posts. It's already proved its worth on stormy evening constitutionals - there's much less soggy dog to dry. All the quicker upstairs to claim that post-walk biscuit! What's not to love?
Just don't mention the Boy Wonder too often.
Seven weird things about Jake
2 Comments Published by Gussie on Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 1/20/2008 12:34:00 AM.
Gus is back in Scottle-land and has just about recovered from jet lag. So it's been a while since we were tagged by Bently and Niko to share 7 weird things about Jake. Here are the rules:
"Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog. Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself. Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs. Let each dog know they have been tagged by leaving a notification on their blog."
Here are the 7 weird things. (Edited down from about 12!)
1. His markings make him look as though he has rolled up his sleeves
2. Rubber toys are dead to him, even the squeaky ones
3. He loves washed up seaweed
4. He really hates CSI. Any series. Much harumphing and theatrical stalking off.
5. But Babybels are just the thing!
6. He loves to stick his nose in shopping bags for a good old sniff. How kind of us to bring him all these goodies home ...
7. He had to work up his courage to paddle, and he won't swim.
So now I'm tagging:
Banba; Rocky & Ozzie; Harry;
Rusty & Smoky; Amici; Zoe; and last but not least Sandy who is not strictly speaking a dog, but in Jake's eyes is an honorary canine. :-)
"Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog. Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself. Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs. Let each dog know they have been tagged by leaving a notification on their blog."
Here are the 7 weird things. (Edited down from about 12!)
1. His markings make him look as though he has rolled up his sleeves
2. Rubber toys are dead to him, even the squeaky ones
3. He loves washed up seaweed
4. He really hates CSI. Any series. Much harumphing and theatrical stalking off.
5. But Babybels are just the thing!
6. He loves to stick his nose in shopping bags for a good old sniff. How kind of us to bring him all these goodies home ...
7. He had to work up his courage to paddle, and he won't swim.
So now I'm tagging:
Banba; Rocky & Ozzie; Harry;
Rusty & Smoky; Amici; Zoe; and last but not least Sandy who is not strictly speaking a dog, but in Jake's eyes is an honorary canine. :-)
Labels: Whimsy
Yip yip aroo.... The New Guinea Singing Dog
2 Comments Published by Gussie on Monday, January 07, 2008 at 1/07/2008 10:50:00 PM.
This evening I happened on a BBC Radio 4 programme about the New Guinea Singing Dog. They sound fantastic. And it's impossible not to join in - even sober-voiced experts were demonstrating the various calls and howls. It didn't take long before I was howling along. I was hoping Jake would trot through and join in, but he resolutely ignored the call of the wild. Sounds that do get him moving? The fridge door opening ... eggs being cracked ... the sound of the lid coming off the box of gravy bones ...
Anyway, aroo-ing apart, there's lots of interesting info in the programme about Singers and what Singers might reveal about how domestic dogs developed. The programme lasts 30 mins and is available on the BBC's Listen Again facility, I think for a week after initial broadcast (7 January 2008).
Image by rgdaniel. Some rights reserved.
Anyway, aroo-ing apart, there's lots of interesting info in the programme about Singers and what Singers might reveal about how domestic dogs developed. The programme lasts 30 mins and is available on the BBC's Listen Again facility, I think for a week after initial broadcast (7 January 2008).
Image by rgdaniel. Some rights reserved.
Labels: Whimsy
OK, with all the snow over the last couple of days I know should be posting endless cute pics of Jake scampering like a pup in the park, or er, running up to cock his leg on the snowmen. Trouble is, I’m too busy making snowballs to chuck for him ...
So here’s a pic of a snowstorm in the house. Look how far icing sugar can travel during sifting.
(We got the icing sugar away from his eyes PDQ, concerned readers)
So here’s a pic of a snowstorm in the house. Look how far icing sugar can travel during sifting.
(We got the icing sugar away from his eyes PDQ, concerned readers)
Labels: Whimsy
Does Jake need a creative outlet? (part 2)
6 Comments Published by Gussie on Saturday, December 15, 2007 at 12/15/2007 11:38:00 PM.
I turned away to look at the waves, and when I turned back, I found this ...
OK, that's wishful thinking. Someone else drew a cartoon dog on Portobello beach and we just liked it.
OK, that's wishful thinking. Someone else drew a cartoon dog on Portobello beach and we just liked it.
Labels: Whimsy
Security briefing
4 Comments Published by Gussie on Tuesday, November 27, 2007 at 11/27/2007 07:47:00 PM.
Once a month, Chief Security Officer Jake is faced with a most perplexing challenge.
He is used to surveying the street from his command centre: the bay window of our first floor flat (for those in north America – this translates as “second floor apartment.”) . From on high, Jake watches the world go by at street level. He keeps an eye out for his people and his other friends. Everyone is small and far away.
Except then a MAN WITH LEGS A STOREY HIGH appears right at face level, tapping at the window. ALERT! ALERT! All security systems activate! Jake bounces up and down, ger-WOOFing at the man, who stares straight ahead, stony faced, wiping the window with his squeegee.
Chief Security Officer Jake is pleased to report that he has seen off the suspicious character. Except – next he reappears at the kitchen window! ALERT! ALERT! All security systems activate! Ger-WOOF!
And then the study! And … and… and…
Strangely enough when Chief Security Officer Jake goes downstairs to check out who rang the doorbell, the man at the door collecting money for cleaning the windows has somehow telescoped his legs and appears to be normal height. WAG-WAG-WAG-WAG
He is used to surveying the street from his command centre: the bay window of our first floor flat (for those in north America – this translates as “second floor apartment.”) . From on high, Jake watches the world go by at street level. He keeps an eye out for his people and his other friends. Everyone is small and far away.
Except then a MAN WITH LEGS A STOREY HIGH appears right at face level, tapping at the window. ALERT! ALERT! All security systems activate! Jake bounces up and down, ger-WOOFing at the man, who stares straight ahead, stony faced, wiping the window with his squeegee.
Chief Security Officer Jake is pleased to report that he has seen off the suspicious character. Except – next he reappears at the kitchen window! ALERT! ALERT! All security systems activate! Ger-WOOF!
And then the study! And … and… and…
Strangely enough when Chief Security Officer Jake goes downstairs to check out who rang the doorbell, the man at the door collecting money for cleaning the windows has somehow telescoped his legs and appears to be normal height. WAG-WAG-WAG-WAG
Things Jake made us buy
4 Comments Published by Gussie on Wednesday, November 14, 2007 at 11/14/2007 09:55:00 PM.- The car. We were car free for seven years, then along came Jake, and … sorry, planet. Gus now has to cycle everywhere by way of compensation.
- The camcorder. Nuff said.
- Fields of tatties and greens. Many, many turkeys and pigs.
- URLs. OK, we did have previous websites, but this is the biggest/longest standing
- Enough toys to fill a crate on a freight ship from China
- Football boots for Gus, she who was always last to be picked in PE.
Labels: Whimsy
Attention millionaires!
1 Comments Published by Gussie on Sunday, September 23, 2007 at 9/23/2007 08:57:00 AM.
Should anyone find themselves with lotto winnings to spare this autumn/winter, here some festive gift ideas for Jake, spotted after reading about New York Pet Fashion Week.
Adorable Horatio Hornblower outfit from Robin Rive
Should we ever see another winter in Scotland again, here's a erk! fur coat.
Meanwhile, the reality - rugby shirts. Jake loves going to the pub in his colours. All that attention! Chips from every table!
Adorable Horatio Hornblower outfit from Robin Rive
Should we ever see another winter in Scotland again, here's a erk! fur coat.
Meanwhile, the reality - rugby shirts. Jake loves going to the pub in his colours. All that attention! Chips from every table!
Two enthusiasms for the price of one!
Look at the dog carrier made by Scottish bike trailer manufacturer Carry Freedom. It's called bArk. I love the idea of it as Jake is always a bit put out at having to trot alongside our bikes - it's too quick for those leisurely sniffs on the tow path. Mustn't be distracted from the actual need for something to put the week's groceries in. (Apart from the car, that is.)
Look at the dog carrier made by Scottish bike trailer manufacturer Carry Freedom. It's called bArk. I love the idea of it as Jake is always a bit put out at having to trot alongside our bikes - it's too quick for those leisurely sniffs on the tow path. Mustn't be distracted from the actual need for something to put the week's groceries in. (Apart from the car, that is.)
Sandy and I have just returned from a conference in the Czech Republic. There were lots of much loved pooches out and about in Brno. We even saw a dachshund sitting on its owner's lap in a pizza restaurant. After all, pizzas are a rich source of cheese, ham, spicy sausage... In America I've seen dogs trotting round department stores with their owners. It's best that Jake doesn't know about such things.
Though I was greeted handsomely when I got home, Jake used the following tactics to show the evil abandoning human she would have to work her way back into his affections :
Though I was greeted handsomely when I got home, Jake used the following tactics to show the evil abandoning human she would have to work her way back into his affections :
- pointedly getting off the sofa when Gus got on, settling by Rod's chair instead
- when all three are on the sofa, Gus gets the dog bum, Rod the adoring head
- when Gus threw the ball, Jake took it back to Rod
It's been a bit rainy up here. OK, we haven't been flooded, but we have got to the point where sunshine is really quite startling. And some of our fave walks are a bit muddy. Where does the mud end and Jake's paws begin?
Labels: Whimsy
Does Jake need a creative outlet? I think he needs a creative outlet.
But what might we find on the walls when we get home from work?
Cheers to the ever-reliable Cute Overload.
But what might we find on the walls when we get home from work?
Cheers to the ever-reliable Cute Overload.
Labels: Whimsy
We are back from a holiday in Skye! In which we met hardly any other dogs at all. Perhaps it is because in the Highlands dog owners are expected to intercept dog crap before it hits the ground.
It was so beautiful! And so full of sheep and lambs. Even so we had a some great walks without incident, and Jake made the best of the one properly sandy beach we found. (Thanks to a tip from work chum to head to Glen Brittle). There were some fine shingle beaches and some fine seaweed-sludge traps (on day one, walk one, both Gus and Jake arrived back in the holiday cottage plastered in stinky BLACK oom-ska).
However there's a lot to be said for Portree -
The cute harbour ...
... the fine dining ...
... the opportunities to practice recall in heart-stopping situations, er scenery ...
And with one exception, every pub we went into was happy to have Jake in, even where food was being served, making the smooth transfer of left-overs to dog much easier. Particular kudos to the Stein Inn, the oldest pub on Skye to allow Jake to sit at our feet.
It was so beautiful! And so full of sheep and lambs. Even so we had a some great walks without incident, and Jake made the best of the one properly sandy beach we found. (Thanks to a tip from work chum to head to Glen Brittle). There were some fine shingle beaches and some fine seaweed-sludge traps (on day one, walk one, both Gus and Jake arrived back in the holiday cottage plastered in stinky BLACK oom-ska).
However there's a lot to be said for Portree -
The cute harbour ...
... the fine dining ...
... the opportunities to practice recall in heart-stopping situations, er scenery ...
And with one exception, every pub we went into was happy to have Jake in, even where food was being served, making the smooth transfer of left-overs to dog much easier. Particular kudos to the Stein Inn, the oldest pub on Skye to allow Jake to sit at our feet.
It has recently come to our notice that some of Jake's friends think he belongs to us, and are using such terms as "pet" or "owner." How last century! More appropriate terms are companion animal, fellow domestic mammal, and from Jake's point of view, companion people, fellow pack members, aka personal maid and Mother Hubbard.
The dame made a curtsey,
The dog made a bow;
The dame said, Your servant,
The dog said, Bow-Wow.
Hand in hand is the only way to land... we see ya, ya big sook.
The dame made a curtsey,
The dog made a bow;
The dame said, Your servant,
The dog said, Bow-Wow.
Jake would like it be known that he merely finds Rod's slipper a comfy headrest. It in no way implies he misses his fellow domestic mammal, nor should a traditional owner/pet scenario be assumed.
Hand in hand is the only way to land... we see ya, ya big sook.
And there will be none of this.
Clearly Jake is eating better than Sandy. Seriously, we've been tweaking his diet to rebalance it after reading an article in Dogs Today about making sure your natural-fed dog gets a properly balanced diet. Jake was still on a variation of the vet's original exclusion diet from when his food allergies were diagnosed, and though he was looking pretty well on it we decided to make some changes. He's still getting either turkey or pork for one of his two daily meals, still mostly having tatties as his carbohydrate, but instead of random fruit and cooked greens/carrots on an as-and-when basis, we're moving towards 33% meat, 33% cooked tatties and 33% cooked mixed veg. So it's proper-like.
Sandy, the bowl stand has room for two bowls...
Sandy, the bowl stand has room for two bowls...
Enough of the political comment. Jake, cover your eyes! It's a sex doll for dogs. As seen on Popbitch. Now wash your hands.
Labels: Whimsy
Recently read in the Metro, so it must be true. Hundreds of wealthy Japanese women have been conned into believing thatthey were buying a pet poodle when in fact, they were given a lamb. As Rod pointed out, lambs would be no good at agility.
Labels: Whimsy
Just met a fellow dog walker who took a shine to Jake and asked what his name is. I told him and he looked a bit surprised. “That’s an unusual name,” he said. “Dyke, would you like a biscuit?”
At the time I burst out laughing at the poor man's Freudian slip (or duff ears) and put him right. Of course NOW I see that the best reply to this would have been: “No thanks, but my dog will have one.”
Ahhhh, l’esprit de l’escalier! Quelle frommage!
At the time I burst out laughing at the poor man's Freudian slip (or duff ears) and put him right. Of course NOW I see that the best reply to this would have been: “No thanks, but my dog will have one.”
Ahhhh, l’esprit de l’escalier! Quelle frommage!
Every so often Jake comes across something so surprising that he looks at us gone out, as we used to say in Notts. (Which means "looked at us with an expression of utter astonishment / disbelief.") Tragically we are then usually too busy laughing to catch a photo. Examples:
1. When he first heard Anthony and the Johnsons arooooo (and he usually doesn't react to music at all)
2. When he first saw his staple food, potatoes, being pulled out of the ground.
and just now
3. When he saw Rod cycle past. His mouth literally fell open. Bet he thought cyclists were some strange centaur sub-species, not actually people he might know on machines ...
1. When he first heard Anthony and the Johnsons arooooo (and he usually doesn't react to music at all)
2. When he first saw his staple food, potatoes, being pulled out of the ground.
and just now
3. When he saw Rod cycle past. His mouth literally fell open. Bet he thought cyclists were some strange centaur sub-species, not actually people he might know on machines ...
Labels: Whimsy
The workmen are back for a few days, finishing off the bits and pieces from the house refurb. And Jakey is chumming all the workmen for their lunches. At one point yesterday I realised I couldn't find Jake, and found him sitting on the stairs, trying to hypnotise joiners into giving up their soup, sandwiches and to the bafflement of one, his smoothie. Kind of hard to explain that Jakey is used to being given empty actimel pots to lick out, viz. -
Oh, if only Jakey could be trained thus:
Might work for a much bigger dog? It could back up to the loo?
Might work for a much bigger dog? It could back up to the loo?
Labels: Whimsy
Dear Jake
Tis Valentine's Day soon and I have found you a lovely lady who'd like to meet up with you. All you have to do is change your name to Barney, die your hair/fur black, move into a wedding cake stylee hoose and shrink a bit.
I hope you are lucky in love.
Sandy
PS she's got a website too
PPS did you notice she has a Mac ? All the best pooches do. Oh you don't. Tsk tsk have a word with the owners.
Tis Valentine's Day soon and I have found you a lovely lady who'd like to meet up with you. All you have to do is change your name to Barney, die your hair/fur black, move into a wedding cake stylee hoose and shrink a bit.
I hope you are lucky in love.
Sandy
PS she's got a website too
PPS did you notice she has a Mac ? All the best pooches do. Oh you don't. Tsk tsk have a word with the owners.
Labels: Whimsy
I ate lunch at my desk and while I was at it, called “Glamour pooch” and booked an unsuspecting Jakey in for the full works. His pre-Christmas treat. (Or ours.)
Then back to work, tra-la-la. A new colleague came in and asked a Serious Professional Question. After earnest debate in the office, I showed him some info on my PC. And when he left, I looked down to see a scrap of paper by my keyboard on which I’d written in very clear handwriting:
“£18-28. Bath, nails, ears, anal glands. 1-1.5 hours.”
I felt like running downstairs and screaming – it’s for my dog! not me!
Then back to work, tra-la-la. A new colleague came in and asked a Serious Professional Question. After earnest debate in the office, I showed him some info on my PC. And when he left, I looked down to see a scrap of paper by my keyboard on which I’d written in very clear handwriting:
“£18-28. Bath, nails, ears, anal glands. 1-1.5 hours.”
I felt like running downstairs and screaming – it’s for my dog! not me!
Now here's a thing. Never mind interactive toys, Jakey could be settling down on the sofa with a good book, perhaps White Fang. Or Proust.
What am I thinking? He's a DOG! He will want to read 100 Great Smells or How to catch squirrels for pleasure and profit. The Swan-Plan Diet. (Help me out here).
He could write some books himself, perhaps How to get on the sofa - and stay there. Or Aunts I Have Charmed. Etc.
Check out the doggy flashcards. Though I'm a bit worried about what might be spelled out for us in fridge poetry magnets if we go down this road.
Labels: Whimsy
Dear JakeI have heard that sometimes The Owners go away and leave you alone for a bit. Well, I think they should buy you a Kong Time Toy Dispenser. It's a regular way to get a toy and a treat when they aren't home. You can even get them to fill the toys with little treats like peanut butter or Nutella. You can then smear the little treats all over the furniture and the carpet and The Owners. Humans taste better if they are chocolate covered, dontcha know.
Woof woof
Sandy
Labels: Whimsy
Dear Sandy,
Although you are one of my favourite people I had already decided that Lorcan Dempsey should be my Web 2.0 guru. Gus & Rod say he understands the long tail.
xxJake
Although you are one of my favourite people I had already decided that Lorcan Dempsey should be my Web 2.0 guru. Gus & Rod say he understands the long tail.
xxJake
Labels: Whimsy
Dear Jake
I have seen The owners in their anoraks, twiddling with their MP3 players, mobile phones and wrestling with the wi-fi. So I know they have slight nerd tendancies even thought they try to disguise them by wearing fetching shoes and carrying natty shoulder bags. One of The Owners is even in charge of big geeky computers at a major educational establishment and The Other Owner used to be in charge of big geeky computer at a major cultural institution just down the road from my major cultural institition.
So how come in your house / temple to gadgetary The Owners have only now worked how to give you a RSS feed on your blog. I heard that all the dogs down your way have be laughing at your lack of syndication. It's embarrassing I know. Why don't you trade The Owners in Jake and get new ones ? Perhaps an owner that is truely wise in the way of tech .... like me. My credentials are outstanding:
Sandy
I have seen The owners in their anoraks, twiddling with their MP3 players, mobile phones and wrestling with the wi-fi. So I know they have slight nerd tendancies even thought they try to disguise them by wearing fetching shoes and carrying natty shoulder bags. One of The Owners is even in charge of big geeky computers at a major educational establishment and The Other Owner used to be in charge of big geeky computer at a major cultural institution just down the road from my major cultural institition.
So how come in your house / temple to gadgetary The Owners have only now worked how to give you a RSS feed on your blog. I heard that all the dogs down your way have be laughing at your lack of syndication. It's embarrassing I know. Why don't you trade The Owners in Jake and get new ones ? Perhaps an owner that is truely wise in the way of tech .... like me. My credentials are outstanding:
- have had an RSS feed for a year
- have written an article on blogging
- am learning CSS (cascading silly sentences)
- can do a recursive delete in Unix
Sandy
Labels: Whimsy
An everyday tale of mad-doglady nerdfolk.
Scene: Gus & Rod are in the kitchem supping Innis & Gunn.
Gus: I must upgrade Jake's blog. I want to sort out the archives & get the feeds working
Rod: [after laughing fit has subsided]Why?
Gus: It's important!
Rod: I'm sure Jake isn't down the park saying, Hey Bailey, I've got a blog.
Gus: No, he's saying Hey Bailey, my blog doesn't even have RSS feeds.
[fade]
Dear Sandy,
Thank you for your concern about my diet. I would love some ice cream to my taste, perhaps liver or tripe? Meanwhile I have to slum it with leavings from M&S.
Gussie says that she is going to start cleaning my teeth, what is that?
Love Jake
Thank you for your concern about my diet. I would love some ice cream to my taste, perhaps liver or tripe? Meanwhile I have to slum it with leavings from M&S.
Gussie says that she is going to start cleaning my teeth, what is that?
Love Jake
Labels: Whimsy
Dear JakeI have heard that you are fed on grass, potatoes and ribs with the occasional dry pity-biscuit thrown in when the owners take you out in the monsoon. It's time you stood up (yes get off the couch you lazy mutt) and demand, Demand, DEMAND your right to pooch ice cream. Demand your United Fido Orbiters and Snow Cups Lightly.
Top tip: the Ice crunchies are a mere one calorie. Now, we don't want to be the fatest pooch on the tow path do we ? So I recommend you try them.
Sandy
Labels: Whimsy
The otterhound and the curse of the seven retrievers
It looked like the rain had stopped so Jake & I went up Blackford Hill. Every dog we met was a golden retriever, all seven of them, out with different people. And indeed this was a bad omen, as when we were exactly as far as we could be from the car park, round the exposed side of the hill, the rain turned on again, monster drops so big they were white. Jake tried a brief spell at dachshund level, then tried to hide between my legs - pointless, they were as wet as he was. By this time he looked like an otter and I was soaked through. I fed him pity-biscuits. Then he threw himself into the experience and took off like a loony, racing around like he was on a track, tearing through the long wet grass (as high as he is) and obviously getting off on the sensation.
After I'd driven us home, the car seat was soaking from my sodden jeans. We are now both very sleepy on the sofa.
It looked like the rain had stopped so Jake & I went up Blackford Hill. Every dog we met was a golden retriever, all seven of them, out with different people. And indeed this was a bad omen, as when we were exactly as far as we could be from the car park, round the exposed side of the hill, the rain turned on again, monster drops so big they were white. Jake tried a brief spell at dachshund level, then tried to hide between my legs - pointless, they were as wet as he was. By this time he looked like an otter and I was soaked through. I fed him pity-biscuits. Then he threw himself into the experience and took off like a loony, racing around like he was on a track, tearing through the long wet grass (as high as he is) and obviously getting off on the sensation.
After I'd driven us home, the car seat was soaking from my sodden jeans. We are now both very sleepy on the sofa.
It's a tough life being a dog in Edinburgh's middle classes, being forced to walk between thunderous showers all the way to Dalry to put a cheque through the architect's door. Still, the Telfer Subway was a fragrant delight, and there was plenty of running and er, shagging in the park afterwards. For Jake, not Gus.
Jake's sexual reawakening means that I'm suddenly having a lot of conversations in the park about neutering. "Don't worry, he's been done," I say cheerily, pulling him off - if the bitch doesn't see him off herself. I'd forgotten how many people say their bitch has been dressed. (Always the bitches - never the dogs). It sounds so archaic. A Scots usage - I checked in the OED (online, hurrah for subscription via work) & the Concise Scots Dictionary (offline, paperback).
Last night it was Dior the rottie (perhaps not a wise choice, she weighs three time what he does), this avo Candy, a wee black dog cut from the same cloth as himself. But poor old Jake. He looks so triumphant when he's at it.
Jake's sexual reawakening means that I'm suddenly having a lot of conversations in the park about neutering. "Don't worry, he's been done," I say cheerily, pulling him off - if the bitch doesn't see him off herself. I'd forgotten how many people say their bitch has been dressed. (Always the bitches - never the dogs). It sounds so archaic. A Scots usage - I checked in the OED (online, hurrah for subscription via work) & the Concise Scots Dictionary (offline, paperback).
Last night it was Dior the rottie (perhaps not a wise choice, she weighs three time what he does), this avo Candy, a wee black dog cut from the same cloth as himself. But poor old Jake. He looks so triumphant when he's at it.
Lurchers in the the spring
1. Why do they have to poo in the clumps of crocus flowers?
2. Will smelly wet dogs be banned from pubs in Scotland for polluting the atmosphere?
3. Canine voices were raised in the pub as the non-smoking drinking dog people of EH11 all congregated on the bar with hounds in tow. Near rumble averted...
1. Why do they have to poo in the clumps of crocus flowers?
2. Will smelly wet dogs be banned from pubs in Scotland for polluting the atmosphere?
3. Canine voices were raised in the pub as the non-smoking drinking dog people of EH11 all congregated on the bar with hounds in tow. Near rumble averted...
Dear Santa
I have to share the couch with my owners and sometimes they even make me sit on the floor. How is a post-modern pooch meant to cope ? So, for Christmas I would like to request a new, designer chair for snoozing on and watching TV. I'm sure the owners can afford it ....
Jake
I have to share the couch with my owners and sometimes they even make me sit on the floor. How is a post-modern pooch meant to cope ? So, for Christmas I would like to request a new, designer chair for snoozing on and watching TV. I'm sure the owners can afford it ....
Jake
Labels: Whimsy
Just put Anthony & the Johnsons on the stereo for the first time. Enter Jake in the doorway, aroof, aroof, pausing only to stare at the speakers with head cocked on one side in utter puzzlement. He's never reacted to music like that before. Obviously Anthony speaks to his doggy soul like no other. For today I am a dog...
Psychosomatic kennel cough, anyone?
Das Hund was vaccinated against kennel cough on Saturday. The vet advised that we might notice sniffles, sneezes, runny eyes. We did, but mostly from the human members of the household. Never mind impending bird flu disaster. There's a threat much closer to home.
Das Hund was vaccinated against kennel cough on Saturday. The vet advised that we might notice sniffles, sneezes, runny eyes. We did, but mostly from the human members of the household. Never mind impending bird flu disaster. There's a threat much closer to home.
Labels: Whimsy
Dear Sandy,
I saw the job advert for assistant librarian at the Kennel Club in the vacancies supplement. How exciting! Will you be my referee?
Though I have no formal qualifications my people are fully trained, and surely something must have rubbed off in the last 12 months. It's hard to believe that when I first arrived here I thought Dewey was how my paws felt when I hit the park first thing in the morning. Now I know better. I can catalogue to AARFCR2, BARC21, and know the sled dogs' subject headings, MuSH.
I am not worried abut my lack of pedigree. Some of my best friends are pure blooded & I can honestly say they are none the worse for it. They are nearly as much fun as I am, hardly in-bred at all.
My people keep saying I need a hobby, but I think they mean agility or (god forbid) Freestyle. Please say you'll help me do something more fulfilling.
Lick! Lick!
Jake
I saw the job advert for assistant librarian at the Kennel Club in the vacancies supplement. How exciting! Will you be my referee?
Though I have no formal qualifications my people are fully trained, and surely something must have rubbed off in the last 12 months. It's hard to believe that when I first arrived here I thought Dewey was how my paws felt when I hit the park first thing in the morning. Now I know better. I can catalogue to AARFCR2, BARC21, and know the sled dogs' subject headings, MuSH.
I am not worried abut my lack of pedigree. Some of my best friends are pure blooded & I can honestly say they are none the worse for it. They are nearly as much fun as I am, hardly in-bred at all.
My people keep saying I need a hobby, but I think they mean agility or (god forbid) Freestyle. Please say you'll help me do something more fulfilling.
Lick! Lick!
Jake
Labels: Whimsy
It's nearly a year since we brought Jake home. How on earth do we mark this?
Perhaps Jake could write his memoirs. Ah, the life of the mind.
Perhaps Jake could write his memoirs. Ah, the life of the mind.
Labels: Whimsy
Nothing says love like a potato
Jake was a bit surprised to find some left-over new potatoes (in their skins) in with his usual pork & potato meal. He kept one on the side, and then carefully carried it upstairs to drop on Roderick, who was having a lie-in. He wouldn't take it back or it it. Roderick pretended to eat it & all was well.
Jake was a bit surprised to find some left-over new potatoes (in their skins) in with his usual pork & potato meal. He kept one on the side, and then carefully carried it upstairs to drop on Roderick, who was having a lie-in. He wouldn't take it back or it it. Roderick pretended to eat it & all was well.
Labels: Whimsy
Ah, poor Jake. He made the tactical error of rolling in swan poo at the canalside. And that means a shower. Bwah ha haa.
Labels: Whimsy
Jake loved Wester Ross. We stayed on a croft in Inverasdale, on the edge of Loch Ewe. His early morning stroll was on the pebbled beach five minutes from the croft. Best of all was a daily visit to one of the many nearby beaches, so well appointed with seaweed to shake and run around with. Plus sea and sand ... we've all come back rather fitter than before.
None of us were very amused by the storms, however, which led to some sharp contrasts in human/canine outerwear...
This morning we had the usual excitement as Gussie and Roderick play the don't let the lurcher out as you go to work game.
Gussie made a swift exit when Jake was distracted by his ball. Roderick faced the larger challenge.
Once alerted to departing humans Jake is very careful to lie gracefully across all points of house exit to ensure there is no further escapees. Bribery was required - the application of a favoured dentastick was made, sniffing ensued and finally Jake accepted it as a reasonable bribe for exit. The dentastick was removed to the new fancy travelling bed, bought for Jake's forthcoming adventures at Christmas, and Roderick was allowed to exit for work.
To ensure Roderick understood how abandoned Jake felt, Jake decided it was necessary to whine and scrape the door as Roderick donned a coat and fled the house.
Gussie made a swift exit when Jake was distracted by his ball. Roderick faced the larger challenge.
Once alerted to departing humans Jake is very careful to lie gracefully across all points of house exit to ensure there is no further escapees. Bribery was required - the application of a favoured dentastick was made, sniffing ensued and finally Jake accepted it as a reasonable bribe for exit. The dentastick was removed to the new fancy travelling bed, bought for Jake's forthcoming adventures at Christmas, and Roderick was allowed to exit for work.
To ensure Roderick understood how abandoned Jake felt, Jake decided it was necessary to whine and scrape the door as Roderick donned a coat and fled the house.
Labels: Whimsy
A festive problem today - how to juggle two huge jiffy bags, my purse & Jake in the Post Office? Especially tricky when Jake spotted the packets of jelly babies at nose level. Amazing how much power can go into NO when needs must.
And so onto the top deck of the 44 to Craiglockart Dell. Jake travels by Lothian Buses for free, though he much prefers the car. Much scampering through the woods, followed by a brisk walk along the canal back to the park, where he was still full of beans after 40 minutes of running around, vaulting a Westie a couple of times just because he could.
He is now having a post-prandial nap, sulking a little because I stopped throwing Swan for him.
And so onto the top deck of the 44 to Craiglockart Dell. Jake travels by Lothian Buses for free, though he much prefers the car. Much scampering through the woods, followed by a brisk walk along the canal back to the park, where he was still full of beans after 40 minutes of running around, vaulting a Westie a couple of times just because he could.
He is now having a post-prandial nap, sulking a little because I stopped throwing Swan for him.
Labels: Whimsy
